14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box
Other DILBERT ® books from Andrews McMeel Publishing
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DOGBERT® and DILBERT® appear in the comic strip DILBERT®, distributed by Universal Uclick and owned by Scott Adams, Inc. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide.
14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box copyright © 2009 by Scott Adams, Inc. All rights reserved. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.
E-ISBN: 978-1-4494-1780-2
Library of Congress Control Number: 2009921637
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For Shelly
Introduction
When I was a kid, I had no idea there were so many different occupations that a person could pursue. I had a vague understanding of the more common jobs, such as doctor, lawyer, fireman, farmer, and policeman. I set my sights on becoming a lawyer, largely because the other careers inevitably involved dead mammals.
At some point during college, I realized that although lawyers don’t directly kill any mammals, they do hold mammals down so other people can kill them, figuratively speaking. So I abandoned my plans for the legal profession. I decided to become a banker because one of my professors said I should, although I didn’t fully understand what that career involved. I assumed I’d take people’s money, put most of it in a big safe, and keep some of it for myself. It seemed like a dream job.
Unfortunately, no one warned me that a career in banking would lead to years of sitting in a fabric-covered box and accomplishing nothing. During that period, I was surrounded by other people in fabric-covered boxes, whose shared mission, apparently, was to keep each other from adding value. I was so many levels away from anything that looked like productivity that I was always surprised when I got paid.
After several years of loyal service in my fabric-covered box at the bank, I jumped ship to the local phone company and settled into a fabric-covered box that was a different color. It was a sad gray, evidently designed to keep me from experiencing unauthorized joy. And it worked. As soon as I entered my cubicle, my shoulders would slump and my IQ took a forty-point hit. I don’t think I gave the company my best effort.
Speaking of best efforts, please check out www.dilbert.com.
Scott Adams
Scott Adams, 14 Years of Loyal Service in a Fabric-Covered Box
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