It's Not Funny If I Have to Explain It Read online

  For P.N.O., of course

  Introduction

  People always ask me which one of my books is the best. It’s hard for me to say because I loathe 90% of everything I’ve ever produced. The good news is that I’ve made so many comics that the 10% I love are enough to fill this treasury.

  I handpicked every comic in here, according to a fuzzy, ever-shifting sense of what my best work has been in recent years. Mostly I picked the ones that make me laugh out loud despite seeing them a zillion times. There’s no guarantee that my favorites will be your favorites, but it seemed a reasonable place to start.

  I also included comics that make me proud for some reason, e.g. they’re naughty or they offended lots of people. You might not think that those are sources of pride, but I have discovered that maintaining low standards for myself is a good formula for happiness.

  You’ll see my handwritten comments throughout the book. They’re the sorts of things I might have said if you were reading the comics in front of me and I felt compelled to ruin your experience by talking while you did it. It works best if you read the comic first and then the comment.

  If you want to become a cartoonist yourself, you’ll see lots of patterns and tips in here that could be useful. There’s some risk that by revealing my secrets, a thousand people will become cartoonists and push me off the comic pages, and then my business manager would confess that he has stolen all my money, and then I would end up living in my car and selling my blood to buy crack. However, I think the chances of that are slim because I don’t have a business manager.

  Scott Adams

  Other DILBERT® books from Andrews McMeel Publishing

  Don’t Stand Where the Comet is Assumed to Strike Oil

  ISBN: 0-7407-4539-5

  Words You Don’t Want to Hear During Your Annual

  Performance Review

  ISBN: 0-7407-3805-4

  When Body Language Goes Bad

  ISBN: 0-7407-3298-6

  What Do You Call a Sociopath in a Cubicle? Answer: A Coworker

  ISBN: 0-7407-2663-3

  Another Day in Cubicle Paradise

  ISBN: 0-7407-2194-1

  When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View?

  ISBN: 0-7407-1839-8

  Excuse Me While I Wag

  ISBN: 0-7407-1390-6

  Dilbert—A Treasury of Sunday Strips: Version 00

  ISBN: 0-7407-0531-8

  Random Acts of Management

  ISBN: 0-7407-0453-2

  Dilbert Gives You the Business

  ISBN: 0-7407-0338-2 hardcover

  ISBN: 0-7407-0003-0 paperback

  Don’t Step in the Leadership

  ISBN: 0-8362-7844-5

  Journey to Cubeville

  ISBN: 0-8362-7175-0 hardcover

  ISBN: 0-8362-6745-1 paperback

  I’m Not Anti-Business, I’m Anti-Idiot

  ISBN: 0-8362-5182-2

  Seven Years of Highly Defective People

  ISBN: 0-8362-5129-6 hardcover

  ISBN: 0-8362-3668-8 paperback

  Casual Day Has Gone Too Far

  ISBN: 0-8362-2899-5

  Fugitive from the Cubicle Police

  ISBN: 0-8362-2119-2

  Still Pumped from Using the Mouse

  ISBN: 0-8362-1026-3

  It’s Obvious You Won’t Survive by Your Wits Alone

  ISBN: 0-8362-0415-8

  Bring Me the Head of Willy the Mailboy!

  ISBN: 0-8362-1779-9

  Shave the Whales

  ISBN: 0-8362-1740-3

  Dogbert’s Clues for the Clueless

  ISBN: 0-8362-1737-3

  Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies

  ISBN: 0-8362-1757-8

  Always Postpone Meetings with Time-Wasting Morons

  ISBN: 0-8362-1758-6

  For ordering information, call 1-800-223-2336.

  DILBERT® is a registered trademark of Scott Adams, Inc. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide.

  DOGBERT® and DILBERT® appear in the comic strip DILBERT, distributed by Universal Uclick, Inc. and owned by Scott Adams, Inc. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide.

  It’s Not Funny If I Have to Explain It © 2004 by Scott Adams, Inc. All rights reserved. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide, Inc. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

  Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

  an Andrews McMeel Universal company

  1130 Walnut Street

  Kansas City, Missouri 64111.

  ISBN: 9781449417932

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2004105597

  www.andrewsmcmeel.com

  www.dilbert.com

  ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES

  Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information, please email: [email protected]

  What started as a doodle has turned Scott Adams into a superstar of the cartoon world. Dilbert debuted on the comics page in 1989, while Adams was in the tech department at Pacific Bell. Adams continued to work at Pacific Bell until he was voluntarily downsized in 1995. He has lived in the San Francisco Bay area since 1979.

 

 

  Scott Adams, It's Not Funny If I Have to Explain It

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