Freedom's Just Another Word for People Finding Out You're Useless Read online

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  DOGBERT® and DILBERT® appear in the comic strip DILBERT®, distributed by Universal Uclick, and owned by Scott Adams, Inc. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide.

  Freedom’s Just Another Word for People Finding Out You’re Useless copyright © 2009 by Scott Adams, Inc. All rights reserved. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

  E-ISBN: 978-1-4494-1795-6

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2008936242

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  For Shelly

  Introduction

  There’s an old Chinese curse that goes something like this: “May others find you useful.” Or maybe I just made that up. But I think it’s fair to say Confucius would have said it if he had thought of it.

  Generally speaking, if you have any special skills, it’s a good idea to keep them to yourself; people will think you are a bragger. That’s bad enough. But then they will use various forms of manipulation to coerce you into uncompensated servitude. This evil has many names including favors, teamwork, and honey-dos. It’s all bad.

  The only way to break free from the prison of competency is to carefully cultivate a reputation for being thoroughly worthless. It is the way of Wally. And it is your path to freedom.

  I get lots of e-mail from young folks who made the mistake of being useful only to discover it was a slippery slope. Learn from their mistakes. The only sort of “help” you should offer is the kind that makes things worse. If someone asks you to solve a computer glitch, reformat the hard drive and yell, “Why do I always do that? Why? Why?” That should free up some time for your hobbies. Word gets around.

  Being worthless isn’t as simple as it sounds. You could easily overshoot the mark and find yourself involuntarily institutionalized for life. The sweet spot is somewhere in the narrow range between CEO and inanimate object.

  If that doesn’t work out for you, there are plenty of things to do on www.dilbert.com.

  Scott Adams

 

 

  Scott Adams, Freedom's Just Another Word for People Finding Out You're Useless

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